Ya'll know I love all things birth. Giving birth is something I actually look forward to when I am pregnant. Now that we feel our family is complete, it is one thing I will greatly miss being able to experience. I feel it is crucial to share our birth stories with each other so I am honored to write my story here and even more honored that you're taking the time to read it. I hope you enjoy!
So, just to clarify one thing we learned, very early: Charlotte Magnolia is the boss! She wanted to make sure everyone knew she was in charge before she even joined us, earth side. Most of you may know this is my third baby. I felt confident and sure in my birth. I was prepared, my husband was prepared, my birth team was prepared and we were sure we had secured the very best care provider in our area (and probably in the country). I don't like to rush to the hospital but with our fast and furious birth with our second, I was in my head a little more than I usually am in the days prior to my due date. That leads us to our first ever false alarm, 3 days prior to my due date. I was sure this was labor. Contractions radiated from my back around to the front. They were getting closer together, 3-5 mins apart. I was having loose stools which is a good sign of labor. I had my family come from VA early, my husband left work in a tizzy, my sister cancelled an appointment, and my bestie rushed from work to stay with my older kiddos. Everyone was ready except for Miss Charlotte. We went to labor and delivery and were sent to triage for the first time in any of our pregnancies. The nurse did a check and I was 2cm and 70% effaced with contractions 3-5 mins apart for hours. We walked the halls but my contractions did not intensify and I did not progress. So HOME WE WENT. I told everyone Charlotte must have wanted her birth team in place. It felt good to know that everyone was in town and ready when she decided she wanted to meet us too. I felt like such a rookie though. I've never had a false alarm but she was keeping us on our toes. I was GBS+ so I was concerned about making it to the hospital in time for antibiotics. Kurt and I came home and napped. The kids were SO CONFUSED when we came home within a few hours and I was still pregnant. Poor kiddos. And poor mommy! This continued for days. My husband, children, mother, father and sisters surrounded me and made this last part of the journey with me. We contracted, we had loose stools, we had cramps and twinges and mucous…but...we waited. We ignored them. We kept ourselves busy. We dated. We had girls night. I even enjoyed a small glass of wine. We had sex. We ate spicy food. And our due date came and went.
Sunday I went shopping with my mom, daughter, and sisters. We enjoyed some time trying on clothes together and I purchased a few items I felt would work for me postpartum. All day I felt like I was in early labor. But like I said, I'd been in my head too much before so I was told to ignore until I couldn't talk through them anymore OR until I was leaking fluid. So that's just what I did. By the end of our shopping trip I was over caring what others thought about me and I sat my very pregnant self down in the men's underwear aisle, outside of the fitting rooms at Target. One of my proudest moments. ;) Julianne was acting like a frog down the aisle and I didn't even care.
That night I went to bed early because I was exhausted. I had trouble sleeping, though. I woke with a few contractions here and there. Then around 1:30am I had the urge to pee. I stood up and my underwear filled with fluid. I quickly woke Kurt to tell him what happened. We went into the bathroom and decided it was definitely amniotic fluid. We woke my mom and packed our list minute items. Kurt made himself some coffee and congratulated me on beginning labor at the perfect time for his schedule, the earliest possible time on Monday morning. It was GO TIME! We got to the hospital about 2:30am. We went to triage where I was checked and tested for amniotic fluid. I was still 2cm and 70% effaced which surprised me with the number of contractions I'd had between our false alarm and go time. We waited in triage with monitors strapped to my belly while Kurt sipped coffee and texted his boss to let him know he wouldn't be in that day. The results showed it was in fact amniotic fluid (of course it was!). The nurse gave us our choice of rooms. We chose the big suite at the end of the hallway. It's the same room Libby birthed Nash in. It's big and has a nice foyer area. It is also so quiet. It's at the end of the hallway so you really get left alone, which we like! We got settled into our room. We put our Thieves hand soap in the bathroom, got our diffuser running with Peace and Calming, and used Thieves spray on the table where I'd be keeping my things to make it feel like home. I also never wear a hospital gown and that's no problem. I like to use my own nightgown and my own cushy pillow to feel more comfortable. The nurse started my antibiotics started around 4:30am. We took the next few hours to just chill. We tried to sleep although I didn't really get any. But the rest was nice in our quiet room. We knew we made it to the hospital. A big deal for us considering the birth of our second. And we knew we'd be meeting our daughter very soon. It's a good feeling knowing you're in good hands and prepared for the most exciting day of your adult life. So we just relished in the fact that we'd done our part to get there and we trusted in my body to pick things up as necessary when the time came.
Around 7:30am Dr. B came in for rounds and visited with us a little. I was not pressured in any way. No one tried to check me. No one told us what to do. We were free to do what I felt my body was telling me to do. I took a shower to freshen for my birthing day and then we walked. We walked the halls and used Clary Sage on my ankles every 30 minutes. Mom stayed in the room but she took pictures of us walking the halls. Jenny, Libby and Nash arrived around this time, I think about 9am. Walking the halls and Clary Sage was working to bring on contractions but we decided to be adventurous and bump things up a bit. Since we are pros at this and all. We requested a breast pump. Our wishes were granted and before long we were doing rounds of walking for 10 mins, breast pump for 10. They only allow 5 cycles of the breast pump and you must be on the monitor while using it so they can watch how your contractions grow and how baby is handling them. Let me tell you, that breast pump WORKED. Things intensified GREATLY. I went from easily talking through my contractions to needing help relaxing. Kurt is the very best coach. He and I are totally connected. He's attentive and supportive. He helps to find tension in my body and helps me release it. He would get down to my ear level and tell me to relax and release. We were doing it and our baby was coming. Those moments are hard, relaxing and letting go of the surges can feel overwhelming at moments. But when you have a team supporting you and a coach whispering affirmations in your ear, you can face each surge with confidence that you'll come out the other side of it stronger, calmer, and closer to meeting your baby.
We continued with this through my next cycle of antibiotics. Once that cycle was complete we were back at it. We walked. We swayed. I sat on the birth ball. Libby even held the breast pump parts on my breasts for me so I could fully let go, just as I'd done for her 7 weeks prior. After this second cycle on the breast pump was complete, I couldn't make it out into the hallways to walk. I was naked. And I wanted the privacy of my room. Things were really progressing. We labored on the toilet, off and on, as I was frequently urinating. I remember sitting on the birth ball and feeling the intensity and thinking I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this. And that's when I had a very meaningful experience I will always carry with me. I was sitting on the birth ball in my room with a sheet draped over me. I was having an inner struggle between having to move around to keep contractions coming and feeling like I wanted to sit completely still to give myself a break. Then I looked around the room. I was literally surrounded by birthing goddesses. Not even kidding. My mom had birthed all 4 of us naturally. Jenny had 3. Libby had 2. And I had done it twice before. I knew I COULD do it because I already HAD. I knew I had the best team surrounding me. Women who could look at me and say "I understand what you're feeling, you're almost there" and they truly did KNOW because they had lived their moment too. And it is, it's your moment. One of the very best moments that one could possibly live. I pictured each birth, the arrival of each new person that was crucial to our family. And I pressed on because I had my own mountain to climb and my own victory to conquer. There was a person that was missing from our family who I was about to birth. We would soon meet face to face and I could not wait. This experience truly renewed my laboring soul.
It was time for our third cycle on the pump and I had to make myself do it. We could tell my contractions would ease a bit when I was off the pump so as much as I felt I'd rather just hang out off the pump my team encouraged me to do another round since it was working so well. That round was rough. Those contractions were so strong and starting to really ache in my back with greater intensity. Kurt started applying pressure to my lower back while continuing with our affirmations. When this round was over I remember leaning on the cart in our room with Kurt behind me to press on my lower back. We labored there for a few contractions. Jenny came over and applied Valor to the back of my neck and down my spine. She took her time to press her fingers into my back allowing the oil to warm under her press and allowing me to sink into the relaxation it was providing me. I realized then, I didn't know what I wanted anymore. I was getting very tired. It was noon now so we'd been laboring for about 4 hours. I know that's SHORT as far as labors go. I know it is, I labored for 32 hours with my first, but a short and fast labor makes for an INTENSE labor where you're doing a ton of work with each contraction. So I was in my head again. Doubting myself. Tired. And ready to lay down on my side in the bed. I love this position for relaxation and I felt ready for it. But there was a part of me that was scared I was giving up. I worried laying down would stall my labor. I listened to my body and vocalized my wish and everyone agreed it was time for that. They helped me get situated in the bed. Libby stood at my face and Kurt was behind me. When a contraction would start Kurt would press my back and lean down to my face, and talk me through it.
We labored this way for about 10 minutes until I had a large contraction and we all heard a POP! I threw the blankets off of me because I was terrified about what just happened. We knew my water had been leaking since the middle of the night so it seemed strange for my water to break so dramatically. I'm telling you, each time my bag of waters has broken its been so dramatic! I swear there could be sound effects. When I threw the blankets off I hit Kurt in the face, that's the closest I've ever come to hitting him in labor. LOL I told Libby to run and get the nurse. I knew my water breaking so fully and dramatically meant we were very close to meeting our baby girl. Another contraction came very quickly and by the end of it I was bearing down. Now, in our birth story with Julianne that was when we started backing out of the driveway at home. SO we were in much better shape since we were actually at the hospital this time.
The nurse checked me and I was 7cm. She called the nurses station and told them to notify Dr. B that his "natural" patient was 7 cm and this could go quickly. She put monitors on me again and I continued to labor with the urge to push at the end of my contractions. This was about 12:25pm. Within a few minutes things were progressing quickly and I was now really wanting to push. She called stat to Dr. B. and they told him to get here asap. The bad news was he was out to lunch, although we didn't know that at the time. They were all telling me to blow out candles. Later we laughed as I told them I could have blown out candles with Julianne but this time my body had been there done that twice before and there was no blowing out candles. So the nurse called again to the front desk and said to prepare the room for delivery ASAP. My mom was on my right side. My dearest Kurt was on my left side helping me cope with the bit of chaos happening, birth can be so exciting, I tell ya!
I was pulling Kurt down by the hoodie during contractions so he was in my face. This was not in a violent---I hate what you did to me and want you to suffer too way like the do in the movies--it was my reaction to my body going through such intense feelings and wanted him to be as close as humanly possible. Jenny and Libby were both busy with cameras taking pictures for us. Several people came into our room but so far none of them were Dr Brabson. I remember I kept saying, "Where is he?!" There were two charge nurses in my room, I was still pushing with contractions even though everyone was telling me not to push. I'm totally a rebel. But seriously, you really just can't stop that. And finally a Lead Nurse named Erin lifted my leg to look and saw I was crowning, {DUH} and said the best words I'd heard all day. "Marissa, I'm going to help you out." And I swear I could hear the angels singing.
She had delivery gloves on and she told me I could roll over to get more comfortable and begin fully pushing. It was now 12:32pm. That moment felt so good. I was ready to meet my baby and I felt safe even without Dr. Brabson present. I guess facing delivery in the hospital with professionals present felt pretty darn safe to me compared to the thought of my husband nearly delivering our daughter on the side of the road. So I pushed, this was it! The grand finale to our work of bringing our girl earth side in the most peaceful and loving way possible. They talked to me. They all encouraged me that she was coming. When she was half way out Dr. B walked through the door with a HUGE SMILE ON HIS FACE. I remember feeling relived he was here even though she was already half born. And I was reaching for her. She was only half out and I couldn't get her out fast enough. I was reaching, and you can see it in our pictures. I wanted her in my arms. Dr. B. let the nurse finish the work she had started in delivering our baby and she did a fantastic job. I remember feeling Charlotte's head and pushing again with each surge and feeling her body slip the rest of the way out. With the cord loosely around her neck and meconium on her way out--at 12:35pm--she was HERE!!! She came straight to my chest and she was calm. She was not crying but not in a scary kind of way, she was just taking in her experience and meeting her mom and dad. It was amazing. And everyone encouraged me and cheered for me and told me they loved me. My mom said with broken words through tears, "Good job, Rissa" and we basked in our victory.
What an honor to have been pregnant three times. To have carried three babies in my womb. And to have birthed each of those healthy babies and brought them home with us. Three times I felt supported and loved. Three times where my Doctor listened to my wishes and trusted me to make choices for my child. Charlotte Magnolia's birth solidified my place as a mother. Her pregnancy brought Kurt and I even closer together and our family feels complete with her precious presence. As Julianne said when she met her baby sister, "There's room for one more." and with that we are finished. Our birth stories are told and we're moving on to the stories of raising these babies into people. Many full years to come in the Lane household and I love every minute.
