A (general) guide to planning for your natural birth

Several friends have come to me with questions soon after finding out they are pregnant.  I decided I could post my advice here in hopes to help when deciding what you need to do once your shock and excitement has worn off of your news of pregnancy.

I find birth absolutely fascinating and am a self proclaimed birth junkie.  I would love to train to become a childbirth educator and truly hope to do so sometime within the relatively close future.  I hope this post will give you a guideline to what you should do to plan for your birth.  And obviously, I'm no expert.  I'm just posting my experience and advice which I hope is helpful.

1.  Read, read, read!!!  There are tons of resources for expectant moms.  Lots of them focus on the baby and what to actually do with your newborn.  Those are great and helpful, especially if you have never dealt with a newborn, but they are not what I'm talking about here.  You need to read information on your pregnancy including diet, fitness, development of your changing body and your baby.  I started my reading with Husband Coached Childbirth.  This is written by Dr. Bradley and should be read by your husband (or coach) as well.  A lot of my advice is based off of The Bradley Method because that is what we studied.  There are other methods so do your research and decide what is a best fit for you!  After reading Husband Coached Childbirth I suggest reading Natural Childbirth The Bradley Way.  This book helps with knowing what you will actually do when you are in labor.  It gives you a great amount of information about each stage of labor along with "signposts" of labor which tell a great deal about where a woman is in her labor based on her emotions and actions.  Knowledge is power and I really found great strength in being educated about what was actually happening when I was in labor and knowing that this was normal!  I find a coached method to be wonderful because when you are actually in labor you cannot be mentally assessing where you are and critiquing every little thing.  This is where your coach comes in!  He is educated as well and knows what is happening better than you do.  He can reassure you!

2.  Watch documentaries.  The Business of Being Born is by far my favorite documentary on birth.  It is incredibly eye-opening.  It does a great job of explaining some major flaws in the American system of Labor and Delivery.  I first saw the movie when it first came out and was shown at our local library.  I was interested in birth before I was even married or close to having a baby.  I invited a bunch of my friends to go with me and one by one they backed out thinking I was crazy for being interested in birth already.  I ended up going alone and I'm so glad I went.  I left feeling empowered and excited about birth!  Another popular documentary is Pregnant in America.  At one point both were instant view on Netflix, so check it out!  Even if you aren't pregnant, watch it just because!  And make your boyfriend/friends/husband/etc. watch it as well!

3.  Now that you've educated yourself on birth and you understand what you are looking for in your birthing experience you need to take a class.  I would not suggest taking the birthing class at your local hospital which is just going to tell you how to be a good patient, explain hospital protocol, and give you a tour of your labor room.  I'm talking about an actual class with a natural childbirth educator.  You will benefit so much from taking a class.  There are several options as far as classes go.  You could take The Bradley Method, Hypnobabies, Birthing from Within, Lamaze, etc.  Just do your research and decide which is a best fit for you and what is available in your area.  These classes aren't that expensive and will benefit you greatly.  We chose to study Bradley for several reasons.  I love that it's a coached method and gets your husband involved!  It becomes a bonding experience for the two of you.  Kurt is the person I trust most in this life so why wouldn't I want him to be the one to help me through my labor?  And after-all, I was having his baby! ;)  Bradley educates you on nutrition.  Our classes also covered common interventions and educated you on the risks/benefits of them.  We discussed birth plans, breastfeeding, postpartum, etc.  We learned affirmations and how to  relax.  Relaxing is something you think you can just wing but practicing with your coach turns out to be very important and it helped us tremendously.  Kurt felt prepared to be my coach. I felt prepared to go through labor.  I was able to relax with the help of my coach and my doulas (my mom and sister).

I hope this posts helps you to know what to do to begin learning and planning for your birth.  This is just a basic outline of the steps you should take to begin preparing.  I'll go ahead and dedicate it to a dear friend who called me this week with questions.  Maybe it's more for me than for you.  Now I have a guide to share instead of babbling on and on about all things birth.  Wishing you all the birth of your dreams!  :)

xoxo,
The Birth Junkie

Sniffles, snot, and coughs

This past week has been among the most trying weeks for me as a mother.  My baby got sick for the first time and I'd like to take a pass on ever dealing with that again- I can dream, right!?--  It all started Sunday night.  We spent a very quick weekend in VA for my sister's baby shower.  We had a nice time but it was such a short trip it was hard on all of us.  We used to pick up and leave for a weekend trip all the time before Oliver came.  Now, it's just not possible.  Anyway, we got back to Knoxville around 9:30pm Sunday night and Oliver was up through the night with a stuffy nose.  I truly thought he was teething Monday and expected to see his first pearly white at any moment.  By Tuesday a cough started and I tried to stay calm when I started to get sick as well.  By Wednesday he had a much worse cough and I knew I had to call his doctor.  They fit him in that afternoon and luckily Kurt was able to duck out of work about 30 minutes early to come with me to the appointment.  We ended up getting a Nebulizer and 2 prescriptions for the babe.  One for Zyrtec and the other for breathing meds.

Wednesday night was the second most difficult night of my life as a new mother.  My baby was sick for the first time, I was now sick as well.  We were both exhausted and feeling rather miserable.  I really felt like Oliver needed his second dose of breathing meds but Kurt left them at the pharmacy because of their outrageous cost of $117 for an 8 DAY supply.  I know that's a crazy price, but I don't care if I eat ramen for the next month, if my baby needs expensive meds I'll do whatever I can to get them for him.  Not to get into all the down and dirty details, but Kurt and I fought hard about going and getting the meds for him.  We ended up waiting and I calledThursday morning, at 8 o'clock on the dot, to try to get his Rx changed to a cheaper drug with a generic.  This whole process took 3 calls to the pediatrician office throughout the day, and still ended up costing us $67 and he didn't get to have his first breathing treatment until 4pm Thursday afternoon.

You all know about my supply issues and have probably read about my nursing journey.  Breastfeeding my baby is as important to me as a natural birth was.  When Oliver was sick and all he wanted to do was nurse and he couldn't because of his clogged up nose, it was heartbreaking.  He would turn his head and root, he'd latch on, then have to come off for air after a few pitiful sucks.  You also know my philosophy on mothering and how I try my best to meet his needs immediately... and I guess you can imagine what this week was like for me when I couldn't meet his needs.  I couldn't let him nurse.  I couldn't give him the meds he needed.  All I could do was cuddle him and give him a bottle and pump my heart out in hopes that my small milk supply would hold out through this sickness.

Things really turned around when he got his first breathing treatment at home Thursday afternoon.  He could breathe, he has nursed for every meal since then.  He has slept through the night again and is able to nurse while we sleep like usual again.  Yesterday he played SO HARD all day that he wouldn't take a nap because he was too excited to be playing again.  His knees last night were as red as a lobster from crawling all day.  This week I missed my baby's smiles.  I'm used to him smiling at me just about every time I look at him, talk to him, go to get him up from a nap, etc.  He and I are on the mend and I'm so thankful for that.

Despite his sickness he's met two milestones this week.  Thursday after his breathing treatment and a good nursing session he crawled for the first time.  He's fast with his army crawl but he crawled on his hands and knees for about 2-3 steps before lunging back onto his belly and taking off again!  We were thrilled.  Then yesterday he was playing at my feet and pulled himself up onto his knees, then straight up onto his feet!  He stood up!  I was in total shock and still kind of am.  He is such an incredible blessing to me and has met milestones even while fighting off his first illness.  His temperament is so content and loving that even when he was not feeling well he was mostly pleasant.  Here are a few shots from this week.

Watching Baby Einstein with a sock full of ice on Monday, not feeling so great. 

By the end of the week starting to feel better and excited to see Daddy!

Got caught!!

"I love avocado!"

A penny for your thoughts.

Ok, I'll be honest.
I've been avoiding blogging.  I've had several other women approach me about starting blogs lately.
I've been a little intimidated by others being inspired by my blog.  I'm not really sure why?  I have tried to talk about real issues and victories associated with parenting.  I know many topics related to parenting can be controversial.  I hope to open a dialogue, show a different perspective, hold myself accountable to a variety of different things, without ever trying to justify what I'm doing or force an opinion on someone else.

I got to watch The View last week after a long 8 months without any cable.  I mean, not even 1 channel.  We just got cable so we could feed our NFL addictions and The View may or may not have had anything to do with the decision that cable was worth $30 a month to us.  Anyway, I was enjoying The View with a cup of coffee one morning last week and I saw a segment with Sarah Jessica Parker.  I am not typically a huge fan of hers, I don't dislike her really but don't love her either.  But I really related to what she had to say about her new movie, I Don't Know How She Does It.  Here's the clip, start around 50 seconds if you want to skip the introduction part.

I really appreciate what she says.  Engaging in conversation is so important for women.  We are so busy doing a never-ending list of things that need to be done in order for our lives to run smoothly, our husbands to be taken care of, and our children's needs to be met.  I think that Sarah Jessica Parker said what I've been thinking extremely well.  I hope this can be a place that a dialogue can be opened.  I can discuss what I've been reading or considering as a new parent.  I have really enjoyed keeping a blog for the first time and I hope that the topics keep coming and the readers keep reading.

xoxo,
Mama Riss

Waaaaahhhhh

A friend posted this article on my facebook wall this week and asked me my opinion of it.  I have read the article a few times and played around with it in my head today off and on and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it.  I am ok with certain parts, I guess.  She is not saying to let the baby cry-it-out.  She is not talking about leaving them in a dark room because that's what they need... but she is talking about letting them cry.  So, is it any different just because you hold them while they cry???

I really am annoyed at people saying that an attached mom just offers the boob instantly for the first whimper. Ezzo says that in Babywise and attributes the attached mom offering the breast to the obesity epidemic in our country.  I think that's totally ridiculous.  

“An anxious and irritated parent (crying does irritate!) will most likely do what brings the fastest relief – give the breast or bottle. The baby almost always accepts it, calms down and often falls asleep. Of course, this is the right solution if the baby is hungry.  However, if the baby has other needs (for instance being tired or having pain), she will learn to expect food in response to these other needs, and grasp the breast or bottle even though she is not hungry.” – Magda Gerber, Dear Parent: Caring For Infants With Respect

I can see her point that it is not good for food to be shoved in the baby’s mouth for any and every need, I do think there is a difference whether the baby is being breastfed or bottle fed.  And please, realize I am not talking about breast milk versus formula!  I don’t care if we are talking about breastfeeding and giving a bottle of breast milk!  My point is that the breast is much more versatile and can be used by the baby for comfort, closeness, pacifying, etc.  The baby will nurse differently if this is their goal instead of nursing for hunger.  The bottle does not offer that same versatility because it releases a constant stream of milk unlike the breast.

Moving on, it seems to me the author is trying to say that our motivation in stopping our babies cry instantly is from our insecurities about the way we were raised and not being able to feel deep emotion.  She also thinks that we stop the baby’s cry because we cannot stand the crying, it makes us frazzled and stressed.  I do not like my baby to cry and I do have hormonal, emotional reactions to his cry.  I am not reacting to his cry because I need to stop the noise and in return my stress level.  I stop his cry because I know his cry is his voice and he is using it to tell me about his needs!  I then take action to meet his needs to the best of my ability.

“Why is it so difficult to hold a crying baby and to accept the crying? Probably because few people were allowed to cry as much as needed when they were little. Your parents may have tried to stop you from crying when you were a baby. Perhaps they gave you a pacifier, or kept trying to feed you, or jiggled you every time you cried, thinking this was what you needed at the moment. Perhaps they tried to distract you with toys, music, or games, when all you needed was their undivided attention and loving arms so that you could continue with your crying.” –Aletha Solter, Aware Parenting

When I cry I want to feel better and sometimes crying does that for me but usually I feel better by being comforted by someone like a good friend, sister, or my husband.  I can be comforted through talking or a hug.  In the same way, a baby is comforted through nursing, rocking, music, etc. which in my opinion, are all great ways to give the baby what he wants.

"Some parents decide to go for days without a shower, or to carry their baby all the time, in an effort to remedy this kind of crying.  Life gets harder, and parenting less enjoyable." Wipfler

I assume that statement is supposed to be about me, the attached mom.  That's fine.  it's incorrect.  My son usually does not cry unless there is a problem. He is such a calm baby and is incredibly content.  I have been truly blessed by him and I do wonder if his demeanor has something to do with the way we parent him.  His needs are met quickly, he is allowed to express himself as he needs to, he plays and explores, and is attached to his mama and papa.  Yes, I do respond to his cry quickly and I'm still ok with that. 

My yarn wreath

I know, I know... everyone has made one of these and blogged about it.  I won't give you a tutorial on how to do it but I do want to show off my yarn wreath.  A good friend from college came over yesterday and we had fun crafting together!  She got a little further than I did most likely due to my baby who woke up screaming about 3/4 of my way through wrapping my wreath with the brown yarn.  He was happy enough after a diaper change and nursing so I got to get my yarn done before she left yesterday.

Most of the wreaths I've seen add felt flowers that are handmade.  I didn't opt for that route for two reasons.  One, I don't have the patience and two, I was ready to be done with this project.  So I opted for some simple flowers I bought at Dollar Tree.  I like the way it turned out and cannot wait to decorate for fall so I can hang it! I mean, fall comes right after Labor Day, right?  As in September 6th...

He's a boating, swimming, eating kind of a boy

We started the month with a trip to IN to go camping and boating with Kurt's parents.  We had a lovely time and although, for me, it was doing basically the same thing I do everyday (feed Oliver, play with him, change him, feed him, change him, feed him, change him...) I still had a great time.  I figured if I'm going to be sitting and feeding Oliver somewhere it may as well be in the middle of a lake!  Here are a few shots from our visit.

We also had Oliver's pictures taken, technically at the very end of July.  Kelsey and Blaine Wright from Wright Photographs came to TN for vacation with Kelsey's family and were kind enough to fit us in for a family session.  I'm thrilled with our pictures.  Kelsey and Blaine shot our wedding and we couldn't say enough good things about them, we love them!  Here are some of their awesome shots.  I'm still deciding which ones I want for our home. 

Oliver had him 6 month check up this month as well and managed to pee on the nurse practitioner while she was doing his exam.  Her and I have become pretty good friends and she found it hilarious.  He didn't know what was so funny!  We also started solids this month as well.  This has been an adventure more for me than for him, I'm sure.  The first batch of baby food I made took me forever!  I was also compulsively paranoid about the strings in his sweet potatoes spending minutes upon minutes picking out the tiniest of strings.  The first day he did gag and refuse after about 3 bites, which I completely expected.  We tried again the next day and he did better, making a hilarious face and looking at me like, "is this normal!?" but managed to eat a little more than the day before.  By day three he was loving them and leaning forward for his next bite.  Since then he's had banana and today he tried cereal with banana mixed in.  We thin out his food with breast milk and it has worked really well so far.  Here are a few shots from his first bites of food.

Day 1----

Love these baby food containers.  Can freeze, microwave, serve, and dishwash these babies! 

That looks yummy, give me that!

Gag!

Day 2----

Day 4---Getting the hang of this!

This last picture was taken a few nights ago, he was falling asleep while scooting around on the floor.

 I think that pretty well sums up our month and again I'm shocked it has been another month.  Oliver will be 7 months old tomorrow and I absolutely cannot believe it.  It feels like he's always been here. 

I made a titty tent! I mean, a nursing cover.

I got a sewing machine for my birthday back in April and haven't used it a whole lot since getting it.  I'm definitely a beginner and have been trying to think of things to start out making.  I've made 2 aprons and thought I could make a nursing cover pretty easily. I had a lot of fun making it and will show you pictures of the process in just a minute...

A word about nursing covers- I do not think of a nursing cover to be totally necessary for a breastfeeding mother.  I think they are great for women who would be uncomfortable to nurse in public otherwise.  I always pictured myself as one of the women who would proudly nurse without a cover wherever I was.  However, when I had to start supplementing Oliver with the SNS, nursing in public became a whole new ballgame.  A nursing cover allows me to use the SNS in public since it is harder to stay covered while using it.  A friend of mine recently posted a link to a blog post that discussed the topic of nursing covers and I was blown away by the post.  It made me reconsider using a cover.  She ends her post with this, which totally blew me away,
    
              "Please, no more calls to "cover up". Anyone who cries for a cover over the beautiful sight       of a nursing mother and child is unwittingly and devastatingly calling for the destruction of womanly knowledge, and the handicap of the next generation of breastfeeders." 

Now back to my reason for this post, my sewing project!  

My supplies.

My old nursing cover I used as my pattern

Pinning

Reading about decorative stitches on my machine- with the help of little hands! 

Sewing the decorative stitch

Trying out our new cover.
And no, I normally do not use a cover at home! 

And just because he's so darn cute.

After some contemplation about what the blogger suggested I am still using a nursing cover.  I can only hope that my future babies will be better nursers, my milk will be more abundant, and I will not have to use the SNS.  Those will be the days of cover free nursing!  But for now, I'll stay covered up.